Cecil the Lion

I logged on to Facebook for the first time (facebook.com/bigfootinthecity) and was crushed to learn of the untimely death, nay, murder, of my fellow predatory genius, Cecil the lion.  Given that I possess a very specific and limited set of skills, none of which are diplomacy, I have taken it upon myself to hunt this tooth doctor down.  I remember him from long ago when I visited the forests of Milwaukee and he tried to lure me out of my protective glade.  I didn't survive this long by not being smarter than a retired lion.

My plan will be to lure him from hiding with the sound of cries from a mistreated secretary,  a large stack of vintage crossbow magazines and a small duffel bag of lightly-used camouflage cargo jorts. I am currently in talks with my DUFF, Justin Timberlake, to start a conservation campaign, "Preventing The Propagation of Lion-Hunting Tooth Doctors" (or PTPOLHTD).

I am offering a free Foot T-shirt to the person who delivers this barbaric creature to the edge of the forest, any forest.  In the mean time, I am in the market for a good taxidermist if anybody has any suggestions.

Somewhere to help:  http://wildcru.org/